Fence in the pool, have a gate with a lock, have an alarm if possible. Inform your neighbors and ask them to keep their kids safe ... kids wander. When you give a family pool party, have a designated adult. Someone has to always be alert to safety. Many people have the pool in one area, and the hot tub in another. A child can just as easily drown in a hot tub. Intentionally go over pool rules. They should be similar to public pools, as many accidents occur because of rough-housing, diving in shallow water, and slipping on wet cement. Know CPR.

7. Fire Safety.

One of the ways we teach emotional intelligence to children is with Intentionality - telling them what we're doing and why we're doing it, not just doing it. This brings it 'out of the woodwork' and helps them focus and internalize.

For instance, if your mom is coming and you're getting ready to use empathy and compassion to make her visit special, tell your child - "I'm baking Nana's favorite cake so she'll feel loved," or "I'm putting a special blanket on Nana's bed because I want her to feel warm and safe because I love her."

By the same token, be intentional about fire safety. Take the time to go over the rules, and have a walk-through of the house, pointing out exits, talking about the 'tuck and low' rule - getting down below the smoke and crawling. Teach your child to dial 911. Have ladders if windows are high. Discuss what the family will do if there's a fire - who will go where, where the fire extinguishers are.

8. Strangers, Touching, Public Restrooms and Weirdos.

These are a fact of life in today's world. Start teaching your child to use their intuition.

Being touched by someone "in the bathing suit area" or anywhere else or in any way that makes your child feel uncomfortable is their emotions guiding them. Teach them to pay attention to their feelings and to trust them for the guides that they are. Being talked to in strange tones of voice that make them feel creepy or scared should also be heeded. Public restrooms can be tricky, but for the sake of your child, do what you have to do. As a single parent of two boys, there were times when I was stuck. I took them into the ladies room with me when they were perhaps too old, and yes, also took them into the men's room when I shouldn't have been there at all. A boy was molested by a man in our neighborhood movie theater ... I wasn't taking a chance. Teach the buddy system. If your older child wants to go to the restroom, send them in pairs at least. Teach your child about Personal Power. Not to freeze up but to run, cry out, make a noise, and most of all to tell you. If you create an atmosphere where your child feels free to talk about things with you, you'll find out all sorts of things. Train your child that when things feel funny they are, even if its someone they know, or someone they "should" trust, like a teacher, cub scout leader, church youth director, sports coach, or policeman. Sadly, not everyone can be trusted. Again, teach your child about the signs, and about what their emotions and intuition tell them. If a teacher, for instance, takes them off alone to 'see something special' ... this should feel weird, and they should refuse. Personal Power means knowing you can say "no" -- for a good reason, a bad reason, or no reason at all. "Better safe than sorry."

9. Staying connected, the lifeline.

If you can afford a cell phone for your children, use this. Encourage them to call you to check in, or if something's not going right. Tell your child to OVER call, not UNDER call, assuring them that you'll never be annoyed, and not to feel funny if they called for help when it was an "over-reaction."

Long-range walky-talky phones are available also; I see many families using these on cruise ships. Consider wrist bands for your child as well. As soon as a child enters a cruise ship, they're given a wrist band with name and identification on it. This helps.

10. Teach action and Personal Power.

Teach problem-focused solutions, not emotion-focused. In any difficult situation, our emotions go on alert, and it can supercede our ability to think. Plan activities where you can practice with your child.

For instance, if you're at a park, and a big dog comes toward our child and she "freezes" teach her not to do that, to take action. Goose her and say "Wake up! Do something!" In other words, don't allow her to "learn helplessness." She has a voice to yell with or to use to ask for help; she has legs to run with; arms to push with, hit, and wave with.

Most of all, she has a brain to use! Teach her to strategize.

11. Drugs and Dangerous Activities.

Of all the things we don't know about addiction -- what causes it, how much is genetic, what predisposes, who gets hooked when some don't -- we DO know this: no one ever got addicted who didn't take the first sip, shot, line, snort, or puff.

Addiction resides in the reptilitan brain which means it operates like an alligator - there's no reasoning with it. It doesn't come when called, it doesn't take orders, it doesn't think, feel, change, respond or learn.

Likewise, no one sets out to "get addicted." What they intend to do varies, and includes -- to cope with anger, to self-soothe, to be part of the gang, to have fun, to experience pleasure, to be at peace ...

But emotional intelligence would include Intentionality - knowing what you're doing and why, and using your neocortex to think through things. There's always a space between stimulus and response where we have a choice. Start teaching this early. Seeing a cooky and reaching out to grab it when you know you shouldn't requires EQ -- frustration tolerance, thinking, not just reacting, planning, and delaying gratification.

Practice the Marshmallow Test with your child -- Daniel Goleman, Ph.D., considers it a better predictor of a 4 year old's future success in life than their IQ. It involves telling a child they can have one marshmallow now, or, if they can wait, having 6 when you return some minutes later. And then leaving the child alone in the room with the marshmallows. I think you can see the point. There are many things we must wait for in life, and many times we must resists immediate urges.

12. Keep your child psychologically safe.

Children can me taught emotional intelligence, but they can't be taught more than you know. In fact you can't not teach it, because all your interchanges with your child exhibit it. Get some EQ training and coaching yourself so you can teach what you intend to teach -- good EQ, not bad EQ, or something accidental.

Teach your child optimism, and resilience, insurance policies against depression and low stress-tolerance. Model appropriate emotional expression. Teach words for feelings and that all feelings are okay (though not all actions). Teach your children to self-soothe, and to distract themselves when things go bad, not dwell and go into the downward spiral of pessimism. Help them learn to trust their intuition. Talk to them about yours, i.e., "I knew something was funny when I walked in that room because I got a chill." Model flexibility. When plans change and it rains on your parade, have a second plan! Teach anger management early on. Anger kills, whether you suppress it or express it ... learn the other way. Isolation is worse on our health than obesity, high blood pressure and smoking. Work with your child on their interpersonal skills, so they know how to create and maintain strong social support networks. Get some EQ coaching so you develop yours more, and are aware of the competencies.

13. Keep yourself safe in order to keep your kids safe.

Get the rest, help and training you need. Keep balance in your life. Be good to yourself.

About the Author

Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach, GLOBAL EQ. Emotional intelligence coaching to enhance all areas of your life - career, relationships, midlife transition, resilience, self-esteem, parenting. EQ Alive! - excellent, accelerated, affordable EQ coach certification. Susan is the author of numerous ebooks, is widely published on the Internet, and a regular speaker for cruise lines. For marketing services go here.