But the worst thing was the stifling heat of my new shoes. The salesman had made no mention of the fact that those shoes came with a built-in furnace; much less one stuck on the "middle-of-winter" setting all year round. Steam rose from my feet, and I fully expected my socks to catch fire at any moment. I could only hope my mom had anticipated that possibility and ordered fireproof socks. (Luckily, moms are pretty good at stuff like that, which probably explains why you so rarely see kids? feet burst into flames.)

It seemed to me that shoes were unnecessary, since no one could see my feet anyway, what with my new shirt dragging in the dust around me. On the first day of school, I stood at the end of our driveway, trying not to be blown into Illinois by a having a gust of wind blow underneath my tent-shirt.

Then something strange happened. Even though I'd soon be seeing kids I'd been missing all summer, suddenly I remembered a thousand things I should have done during that endless summer! But now it was too late. There I was, a 40-year-old fourth grader in a tent-shirt, waiting for a bus, examining a wasted life ... it all seemed so sad.

So I knew exactly what my son was going through. Sometimes it does feel like we're dying from vacation. But sometimes, it's nice to just sit back and enjoy the ride?before the school bus comes. That makes perfect sense to an adult, of course. But try explaining it to a fourth grader, who's in the process of dying from vacation even as you speak.

© 2004. Gary E. Anderson. All rights reserved.

Gary Anderson is a freelance writer, editor, ghostwriter, and manuscript analyst, living on a small Iowa farm. He?s published more than 500 articles and four books. He?s also ghosted a dozen books, edited more than 30 full-length manuscripts, produced seven newsletters, and has done more than 800 manuscript reviews for various publishers around the nation. If you need writing or editing help, visit Gary?s website at www.abciowa.com.

abciowa@alpinecom.net