This leads to a second characteristic of a compliment: It sounds realistic. If somebody told me that I am a wonderful dancer, I might laugh out loud. Sadly, so would my wife, who has endured my errant feet for a long time.

Be timely in issuing compliments. We should give the compliment almost immediately after the event that prompts our praise. Imagine that on Tuesday Dorothy makes the biggest sale she has ever made. Clearly, her training has brought beautiful results. Even fellow employees admire her accomplishments with this order.

If you wait until Friday to compliment her, you*ve lost a grand opportunity. Give her your attention before Tuesday ends, while she*s still aglow with pride. Try this: Dorothy, I think you noticed that all of us were delighted with that special order you handled today. You*ve made lots of progress, and it shows.

Another tip: Issue compliments in moderation. Managers lose credibility when they praise employees too frequently. Like the most gorgeous flower, a compliment becomes grander with irregular appearance. No, we can*t go as far as my colleague Don, never issuing favorable comments. However, good judgment will help us find the reasonable pacing that works.

Again: Use compliments in proper context. When you tell Fred late in the day that he is one of your most dependable people, your compliment becomes suspect when you add: Oh, by the way, Fred, you*re supposed to have Saturday off, but I*m going to have to ask you to come in then to help us handle those weekend wedding orders. Any time a compliment appears manipulative, it loses force. . .and we lose face.

Yes, compliments can be chancy. Some employees might accuse us of playing favorites, being too syrupy, or trying to win favor for our hidden agendas. Risky, that*s true. . .but worth the risk.

When you become known for offering genuine, realistic compliments in moderation, at the right time, and in the proper setting, you*ll notice your employees responding positively. In fact, they will compliment you for your thoughtfulness and encouragement.

Bill Lampton, Ph.D., wrote The Complete Communicator: Change Your Communication, Change Your Life! As a business consultant, speaker and coach, he helps organizations improve their communication, motivation, customer service and sales.

His Web site: http://www.ChampionshipCommunication.com

E-mail: mailto:drbill@ChampionshipCommunication.com