Why, then, do we think that we can teach responsibility by scolding kids, grounding them and taking away further chances for being responsible and sending them to their room? Shouldn't we "put 'em back on the seat?" Should we not "pick them up, dust them off, give them some encouragement and instruction in responsibility and then, as soon as possible, give them another chance to be responsible?"

Should not a child who has acted cruelly to another child be given instruction in kindness, encouragement that we believe in their kind nature, and then, immediately be given another opportunity to be kind?

Now, let's take a quick look at present wrapping and gift exchanging at Christmas. Why are we so successful at teaching this rather complex and wonderful act of love, kindness, joy, and sharing? We succeed at this task for many of the same reasons that we succeed in teaching kids to ride bikes... we let kids learn by experience. Even before they are old enough to understand much about what is happening to them, we begin letting them experientially know about gifts by giving them some. We continue to let them have experience by giving them gifts every year and then as soon as possible we let them experience the thrill of giving from the other side of the coin by helping them to wrap gifts for others. On top of all that experience, we make present wrapping into a huge pageant of excitement. We start counting down the days until the big day... "Only 72 shopping days left." Our whole society talks, with excitement and anticipation, about the Christmas spirit and the magic of the upcoming event. And, SURPRISE, they all end up gladly participating in the behavior every year.

What if we, as a total society, were to celebrate ethnic diversity with the same degree of joy, ceremony, anticipation, and enthusiasm as we assign to giving gifts at Christmas? Interesting to ponder what might happen in the next generation.

We believe that a simple adjustment in priorities by our society might bring about some amazing and welcome changes in the behavior of the youth in America. (Hey, it might even bring some welcome changes in adult behaviors.) We believe that we as parents, and as a society as a whole, can do this if we choose to, but communities like yours all across this great land must commit to it. What behaviors would you like to see being taught universally in your community?
About the Author

Mac Bledsoe, founder and President of Parenting With Dignity?, lectures to parents organizations, youth groups, in schools and churches across America. Mr. Bledsoe and PWD have been featured on the TODAY Show, ABC's 20/20 show, and on numerous national and local radio and television programs. Visit PWD at: http://www.parentingwithdignity.com/