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| Ashton & Demi: A Giant Step For Older Women? |
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Ashton & Demi: A Giant Step For Older Women?
So, Ashton Kucher, 27, and Demi Moore, 43, got married with her
kids and ex-husband in attendance.
It's great! It's Bizarre! She's a cradle robber! It's a giant
step for older women!
Which one is it?
How about "A giant step for older women."
Well, almost.
It's not unusual for older female celebrities to hook up with
much younger men. Fame and fortune are powerful magnets. But men
are visual creatures. What happens after her beauty fades? Not
to worry. Loss of a youthful appearance is no longer an issue.
With the variety of cosmetic procedures now available women with
ample financial resources can look younger than springtime until
the day they die.
To a shrewd, future-oriented man, an older woman with money
promises long-term benefits. If her age is really "up there" he
can look forward to a bundle upon her demise. If the
relationship or marriage doesn't last, he's likely to win a
hefty settlement. So, what does a younger guy have to lose?
What's significant about the Moore-Kucher union is that it has
driven one more nail in the coffin of the "older woman younger
man" taboo that "common folk" - older women seeking younger men
but not endowed with fame or money - have to deal with in their
quest for a suitable partner.
Sometime ago I gave a talk to a group of older women. After my
presentation, a woman I'll call Betty, came rushing up to share
that she was 84, single, dating, and never tells her age.
Furthermore, she had no use for men older than 60, and prefers
them younger than that. "I can't stand old geezers. They're all
dead. They are living but they are dead, if you know what I
mean" she explained in a confidential tone of voice.
I could understand why Betty preferred younger men. She looked
fabulous -- a trim figure, she was intelligent, her eyes lit up
when she spoke, and she had beautiful smooth skin. Clearly, she
had it goin' on. She could easily pass for 60. Why would she
want to put up with a cranky old codger her age?
Here's the problem: When Betty finds someone with potential, and
age comes up, Mr. Potential is gone. I suspect that if Betty had
money and celebrity, it would be a different story.
Let me relate a personal experience: At the pharmacy where I
work, a customer I'll call Mr. Smooth, in his mid-fifties, made
it clear that he found me interesting, even though he knew I was
married. One day the local paper ran a story about my new book
and mentioned that I was 76. Before that, my age was mostly
unknown because I never talked about it. The public disclosure
of my age raised eyebrows, and whispers began at work. "She's
HOW old?" Formerly friendly male coworkers began looking the
other way. Sheesh! Be seen talking to an old woman? The guys
will think there's something wrong with me.
Back to Mr. Smooth. He must have seen the story in the newspaper
because soon after, he appeared at my prescription counter.
Glaring at me with disdain and disgust, he blurted out, "I can't
believe you are as old as you are. I just CAN'T believe it!" He
turned around and strode away never to be seen again.
A woman's age matters to most men. Except when she's 18 and he's
81. Then it's a different story. Society accepts it with a
knowing look and a wink. If the relationship produces progeny,
that's really, really cool --until the kids lose their father
before their sixth birthday.
Betty has it right. She knows what she wants. She knows what she
has to offer. She's not allowing antediluvian age taboos to
stand in her way of finding happiness. Withholding the number of
years she has lived, and maintaining a youthful demeanor and
attitude, she refuses to bear the stigma of "invisible older
woman."
Joan Collins, Susan Sarandon, Tina Turner, Carol Burnett, Mary
Tyler Moore, Victoria Principal, and now, Demi Moore, have
defied convention and chosen younger men.
Eventually it will become chic for a fabulous older woman who
doesn't have a bank account or celebrity status to have a
relationship with a fabulous younger man.
How can I predict that? Think about this. We are living longer,
healthier lives. Yesterday's 60 is today's 40 for many women.
Dr. Helen Harkness, in her book, Don't Stop the Career Clock
reinforces that reality with her perception of aging chronology
that makes sense for today:
Young adulthood: 20-40 First midlife 40-60 Second midlife: 60-80
Young-old: 80-90 Elderly: 90 and above Old-old: 2-3 years to live
Dr. Harkness's vision of the stages of aging may take a while to
catch on with mainstream thinking, but it will happen. In the
meantime, fabulous older women looking for a guy who is still
alive and kicking should not tell their age. Happy hunting!
About the author:
Barbara Morris, R.Ph. is a pharmacist and recognized expert on
anti-aging strategies. She is author of Put Old on Hold. Her
website is http://www.PutOldonHold.com. She can be seen on KCAL
9 Los Angeles TV segment:
http://cbs2.com/video/?id=9738@kcbs.dayport.com
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| Category
celebrities - fashion and style |
Author
David Gabbitas |
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