We now come to the crunch question: how do I know if I am gay? I suppose the simple answer is - you just know. But you do need to wait until all those hormones have settled down a bit before asking the question. Once that has happened the sexual desires and urges will be noticeably better fed and nourished by the thoughts and fantasies of either one or the other of the two sexes. Crudely put: whatever makes you "cum" the easiest and the best will give you the answer. For just a few people this may be equal, or it may alternate continuously throughout their lives, and they are what we term as being: bisexual.

Gay, straight or bisexual, it matters not - you are you, and you are unique. Whatever sexuality you may be, no two people are ever exactly the same - not even identical twins. Be proud of who and what you are, and if you find that you are gay or bisexual then remember that that is quite normal in the great scheme of things, it is only some areas of society that still have a problem with this - and the problem is theirs, not yours.

One of the biggest mysteries in the world today is why some people have a problem with another person's sexuality when you consider all the great names there have been throughout history that have been known not to be heterosexual. Great emperors, kings, war-lords, painters, writers, poets, musicians, composers, pop singers, fashion gurus, astrologers, philosophers, architects, engineers and many, many others all enjoying pride of place in history have been either gay or bisexual - the list is almost endless, and it even includes a pope or two! Their sexual orientation never hampered these people - it need not hamper you.

Judy Garland is reputed to have said: "Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." There could be no better advice. Another quote I love came from the late, great, and still sadly missed Dusty Springfield: "My sexuality has never been a problem to me but I think it has been for other people."

There is nothing at all wrong with being gay, however it does come with some burdens that heterosexuals never have to face. There is the gay scene - known by all to be notoriously promiscuous - and although it is representative of less than a quarter of all gay people it is what a gay person will always be seen as being a part of by many uninformed heterosexual people. Then there is the whole "coming out" saga. Should you come out to family and friends, at work, to all and sundry, or not do it at all? Facing up to this issue can be traumatic for some people - and whatever you finally decide on as being best for you, even staying "in the closet", it will not be without some implications. These issues I will cover in separate articles - look out for them!

Copyright Michael Knell.

About The Author

Michael Knell

This article has been written by a gay man, one who has been out to all for most of his lifetime and during which time he has been a supporter of the Campaign for Homosexual Equality, a (committee) member of National Council of Civil Liberties (now Liberty), a founder member (positions of convener, editor, committee member, and a columnist over twelve years, then remaining an avid supporter) of the Swindon Gay Community Organisation, a (committee) member of the National Gay Community Organisation, a member of the Thamesdown Voluntary Services Centre, an active member of the Swindon Project for Aids Counselling and Education, a (committee) member of the Swindon Gay Men's Health Project, and co-owner of Bona Discos which later became the Junction 16 Roadshows and Entertainment that raised much-needed money for worthwhile causes both gay and straight. Today, semi-retired, he passes his time in Blackpool writing articles, books, and he maintains three popular web sites: http://www.astabgay.com http://www.astabgay.co.uk http://www.michaelknell.com

Quote: Gay is not a choice but, having now lived a gay life, had I had to choose all those years ago - with hindsight, I hope I would have chosen to be gay. It's been fun!