6.If you intend to have a great time together, don?t let anything get in your way. There?s no reason why a visit to the ER should ?ruin your vacation,? any more than a few tantrums, some embarrassing table manners, a flat tire, or missed plan connections should. Your experience of your vacation is in your own hands.

7.Plan ahead for the predictable ? high spirits, moments of boredom, and fights with siblings. You?ve dealt with these at home, and they will accompany you on your trip. Think of ways to deal with these under new circumstances ? in the car, plane, resort, tourist sights, and be prepared with the materials you need. A kit with magic markers, some ear phones, a journal or a good book to read can make the difference.

8.Anticipate testing of the limits. It will only throw you if it comes as a surprise. Children do this in any new situation, and a vacation is full of them. Apply the same measures you do at home ? make it clear where the boundaries are, be consistent, pleasant, and anticipate the best.

9.Understand that children will rev up for a vacation, not calm down. Some adults do this as well, of course. Some of us plan vacations where we can relax and rest; others plan mountain-climbing adventures, and barefoot sailing. Some of us plan both! Be mindful about what comes with the territory.

10.Allow times for children to work off their energy. Plan breaks during long car trips. Take them for a run on the beach before you go to the art museum. After the formal dinner with Aunt Betty, turn them loose in the courtyard to run around a bit.

11.Discuss expectations beforehand. Explain what you can, and what sort of behavior you expect in different circumstances. You can?t cover everything, but you can cover a lot. One thing that?s very important with smaller children is ?coming when called.? You can also buy those harnesses for errant toddlers, for their own safety and your piece of mind.

12.Be sure and provide safety equipment ? car seats, restraints, life jackets and such. Bring along syrup of ipecac, epinephrine, and other things your physician may recommend for emergencies. Carry a first-aid kit with bandages, Neosporin and tweezers. The same sort of equipment you have at home. Because a vacation provides new situations, accidents can be more likely to occur.

Last but not least, process after each vacation. What did you plan well, what did you plan poorly? What worked and what didn?t? What would you do again, and what would it be best to avoid? What would you do differently? Get the whole family involved in the discussion, so everyone becomes mindful.

And don?t forget the most important thing: find out what everyone enjoyed the most. Be sure and go over the good times with the family, and make plans for more in the future.

?Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach & Consultant, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching, business programs, Internet courses, teleclasses and ebooks around emotional intelligence. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE ezine. I train and certify EQ coaches. Email me for info.